18 Months

Can you believe it?  It's 18 months since the last time we got to kiss our first baby boy.  Tears come down non-stop.  Oh how long until I hold him again?  Life is been a serious roller coaster.  Is been easier the past six months having Kyle around.  Kyle is such a good baby.  He makes me smile but no matter how many good moments we have, how much of a connection we have establish ; we miss our baby so much.  Is true the pain is not as intense as it was once but we missed him so very much.  I'm distracted having three kids under 4 it's work but it doesnt mean im over it; i could never be!!! not a day goes by that I don't think about him.

Jayden honey, mommy and daddy miss you and love you so much.  We will always will. Jayda  is going to be 4 this month she talks about you all the time.  How much she wants to get to paradise to hold you.  How much she wants to take you to the swings outside in the yard.  She is such a good girl patient, loving, caring she loved you since the first moment she saw you.  She is looking forward to seeing you one day I know it.  Kylie what can I say?  She will be 3 at the end of september.  She is known to be trouble.  Stubborn vey active,  but extremely loving.  She calls you baby Jayden in the wall because she sits your pictures in the wall.  Kyle he is getting big.  He is 6 months .  He is more like Jayda, he is very independent.  He starting to recognize and interact much more.  Im sure he will miss you so much and i hope it soon we have you in our arms again.

We are not complete we will never be complete until you are with us.  I had a sad dream on Sunday.  A dream about you it was 3 am when I woke up I was crying and we were moving and you were coming with us but you were in a box.  It was so painful.   When I woke up I talked to daddy and he said its 18 months since you stop breathing I could see the pain the shadow that never leaves your daddy's eyes.  Oh baby....We will always love you.

Mommy.