Monday, June 24, 2013


Jayden would have been a year and half just 2 days ago.  I can't stand time.  I miss him so much.  It is so painful to have other children and you step back as a mom you look at them together playing, jumping, fighting, arguing, or just been silly and you know there is someone missing.

Our kids are our life.  Our girls are so special.  Jayda is so sensitive so loving so caring she is known since she was born as the such good girl, Kylie keeps us in our toes. She is so loving and so stubborn.   Kyle is such a good baby.  So much more calm.  Jayden was so active.  Even at 6 weeks he was rolling.  Kyle is now almost 5 months and he master rolling about a month ago.  Life is so much more easier with him.  I been sad sometimes I just look at him and I have to smile.  But I still cry I still miss his brother.  It's unfair that my girls and him don't have Jayden.

Kyle does seem to resemble Jayden; sometimes I see so much of Jayden in him.  I give him a million hugs each day.  Life doesn't change the much these days.  We are more gentle on ourselves and are trying to hard to enjoy time,  but it's so painful and so hard when you know ur baby is gone.


  1. Oh, Kira. Time is terrible. In many ways it is our friend since it DOES seem to help but with each passing day we also get further and further away from our babies. I am so sorry.

  2. I relate to this message so much Kira. I met a doctor yesterday, who lost his first wife suddenly and without warning when their daughter was only 2. I know it's different but it is still traumatic loss. He is remarried and LOVES his wife and has more children and he still teared up telling me about her. He told me that I could have a million more children but I would always miss my Max. While time dulls the pain a little, it also takes us further from our babies and causes us to forget little details. Time is really a double edged sword. I am sorry. I am walking beside you......