Saturday, August 11, 2012
You live and You learn..
iI remember hearing that. someone said that to me well you live and you learn. No No and No. I do not know what is my lesson. My son died and I do not know why. I just can not find the lesson that is why I believe is so stupid for someone to say that. Its not like I made wrong business transaction or I tok the express train instead of local from manhattan to brooklyn. No one has told me what was it that I did wrong. Im in so much pain and I feel so far away from the old Kira who laugh and enjoy life so much more. im not the same and I have not figured out what I was suppose to learn from my child dying.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I don't think you really are "meant" to learn anything. Babies don't die so that their parents learn something...at least I don't think so. But, whether you want to or not, you will learn empathy...even you had had deep empathy before. You will learn to think before you respond to someone in deep pain. You won't just say stuff to say something...you will actually think for a minute how you might feel in their shoes and then speak. You will learn that each life is precious...even though I know you already knew that... You will learn that love doesn't die - but loving someone who isn't alive anymore is the most incredibly painful life experience...especially when that person is your child. You might learn who is a real friend and who isn't - you might decide to continue spending time with the "unreal" friends but you will just know better than to trust them with your deepest feelings. You will learn who is loving and true and real and you will love them even more. You won't REALLY learn anything and anything you DO learn is not worth the life of Jayden. I'd rather know nothing and still have Max. Lots of love to you Kira - I promise it will get easier. I hated hearing that but believe me when I tell you that your next little one will make you smile and it will feel SO GOOD. Mo is the biggest ray of sunshine in my life. I know your little one will be the same for you too.
ReplyDelete