ANGER!!!!

We went to the family reunion this weekend. 

The past two weeks have been extremely hard. 

Painful, its real my baby died and he is not here.

I found myself so angry lately.  I been told Im going

"To push people away", its just so unfair.  I cant stand

That so many people say, "we love you" or "we miss you"

However. they dont mentioned my baby, they dont ask:

How are you feeling? Its like nothing happen. 

I'm in scrutiating pain and all you can say its something 

That has no meaning because Love its shown through actions. 

However, there is something that just makes m 

So Angry.  I went to the pool at the hotel and watch my three

Year old every move. There was another mom there with a lttle boy. 

He was not even 2 most likely 18 months. 

She went to sleep, while he walk around h pol. 

He was scared of the water but he slip  and fell twice. 

I picked him up.  The second time it happen I wke up the 

Mom.  She looked at me and said he is okay. 

I decided to leave and she just pick up her book and started to read. 

I looked behind and there was the little aby just staring t me. 

We were at the swings with the girls. 

And while it was close to 100 degrees I had sippy cups and 

Kept giving it to the girls and sun block. There was another baby 

2 years old with her 6 year old sister and I was worry about her

Getting dehydrated or burn.  Their mom was at a bench  just sitting. 

I dont understand these are just a few examples.  

Im not saying Im the best mom but I swear I 

Always been like that with my kids and look my son is 

GONE.  Is it because Im all over them, 

If I'm like these other moms my kids would be okay? 

Its not fair, these moms do not deseve these babies. 

IJared says its because children are a bother for these parents. 

Its not the case with us.  We yearn to have our children.  We 

Change our lives to adjust anything that will be better for them.