My baby - 6 months

Jayden, honey I dream of this day for so long.  I dreamed of you being 6 months of taking you to the beach.  Of showing you off at the coming family reunion we even bought your outfit for it.  Now, I start to get ready and I cry and cry that we are going away and you are not going to be there.  Its my first family reunion since your daddys entire family only does it once every 10 years.  But I dream of you so much.  You were going to be the baby in the family and most gorgeous child ( at least in our eyes).  Today we saw your baby brother or sister in the sonogram. We saw the heartbeat and got our little picture and then we received the news; that our dating was wrong and that the new baby due date is February 6th.  Thats the day you were gone.  I laugh and cry thinking of the new baby.  Oh my baby how much I need you.  How much I miss you.  Everyday I look at your pictures and everyday I talk to you hoping that you are there.  The fear and the joy and the tears that never stop: its just a major rollercoaster of emotions.  We love you so much and we know we will never forget you even though not one person from our family remembered that you would have been 6 months today. And if they did they did not let us know.  Is it too painful to people?  Its scrutiating pain for us.  I cant even write anymore.......