Our girls.

Today once again I woke up our 19 month old Kylie from her nap.  Everytime she sleeps so soundly I get so scared.  Our two girls have helped us to keep going but its so painful.  I hate when people tell me you have two other kids right?  It does not matter if we had 10. Jayden was my little man.  Our oldest Jayda will be 3 in a couple of  months and she is constantly reminding me "where is my baby Jayden?"  She looks at his picture in the wall,  she points to him and says "he is so cute"  i immediately I start crying.  I have to stop myself because two seconds later she tells me its okay mama its okay.  "its going to be all better".  That is what we tell our toddlers, our preschoolers when they get hurt a kiss and its going to be all better and how do I tell her its not  all better honey.  I imagine them so many times playing together.  Jayden would have been 4 months and laughing and it just breaks my heart that he is not here with them.